Do you remember the old “Will Work for Food” signs? They didn’t last long. It took little time to figure out that they didn’t want to work, and that they didn’t really want food. “Anything Helps” is a nice one. It kind of hits at the heart strings. My favorite, so far, is “Why Lie? Need Beer Money.”
When you’re in the tunnel, wait… that’s a bit presumptuous. When I’m in the tunnel, I look for ways to keep my mind sharp. I try to notice things, think about the things I see in greater depth than I had before. It so happened that I was looking at a small heap of discarded cardboard at the moment, and I took a closer look. Call it what you will, maybe it was just boredom, but I started to classify the messages. I sorted them into categories: Pity, Guilt, Humanity, Honesty, Absurdity, and Brotherhood. Whatever the approach, TLDR (too long, didn’t read) is the constant enemy.
Modern panhandling signage all started, at least from my perception, with the Will Work for Food fiasco. Sure, some people might have actually been looking for day labor and the goal of earning enough money to buy a meal, but let’s be honest, nobody works even half a day and only wants to be compensated with lunch. So it was a lie. You can’t put up an honesty sign when it requires you to prove yourself. The truth is, it was actually a pity sign, suggesting you’re at rock bottom, deserving of a chance, a decent person who’s willing to work, and so pathetic that you’ll accept payment in fast food. So, when the word got around that these blokes weren’t actually willing to work, the stigma began. Liars and beggars were synonymous. The image had to change.
Anything Helps became the new catch phrase. It’s simple, it’s quick, it’s pitiful and honest. It even invokes a bit of guilt when people walk by because everybody who has “anything” could grant it to this poor schlub, and according to the signage, it would help. Pretty smart. More than the other categories, I consider it a Pity sign. “Lost Job” and “Lost Home” type signs are, of course, meant to inspire donations of pity. They’re a bit boring, though, and suggest there’s probably more to the story that you’re not sharing.
The hardcore Guilt signs are interesting to me. They show a talent for getting into the heads of potential givers. A sign like, “In Search of Human Kindness” just makes you feel like a prick if you neglect that one, am I right? You’ll love this one… I saw “What Would Jesus Look Like Today?” Tell me that guy doesn’t have a future in advertising!
“I was Once Like You” is a great humanity sign. In advertising, you have to be able to say a lot in a very small space. Humanity is difficult because you’re looking for a philosophical approach, which typically takes some explaining, and TLDR is a hard trait to remedy. The key is to make people think deeply, consider your words, and get them into that moment of zen when they reach into their pockets. “I Don’t Feel Like We’re all in this Together.” Isn’t that brilliant?
Honesty signs are my favorites. They’re not useful if they’re not funny, and some just hilarious. “Why Lie? Need Beer Money” was the first I saw. Fantastic! “I Admit, I made some REALLY BAD DECISIONS” made me chuckle. Didn’t we all? The quick quip was clever, but it hit a little too close to home.
Another group of potentially hilarious signage is Absurdity. What else do you call a sign that simply reads, “I am Batman,” of all things? That’s friggin awesome, while totally absurd. I really wish I’d gotten a picture, because I recently saw an overweight woman in shorts with a strained white t-shirt two sizes too small, tattooed arms and legs, and wrecked hairdo, with a sign that read, “Please Help, Prostitution Isn’t Working Out.” Extra points for self-awareness. Trust me, you haven’t lived life until you’ve seen a one-legged, heavy set, Black man in a wheel chair with a sign that says “Who’s Your Daddy?” My favorite absurd sign, and I don’t know why, is the skinny guy in the median I saw. His sign read, “Hello, My Name is Hank Wehadababy-Itsaboy. I’m Bob’s son.” I don’t know, you might want to include a link on this one. (Ok, here it is.)
Brotherhood is huge. This is where you get the “Homeless Vet” signs. Brothers in arms they are, and no man should be left behind. Although, brotherhood signs come in different forms, too. A lady once gave a homeless guy twenty bucks to hold up a “Let’s Go Brandon” sign for an hour. She saw him again later, still holding the sign. She stopped and said, “You don’t have to keep holding it, I only meant for an hour.” She thought he’d misunderstood. “Are you crazy? I made more money in that hour than all day yesterday!” Of course, there are places where that particular sign wouldn’t go over very well, but standing out with a new, bold, even though divisive, sign signaled to a large and motivated group that unity is more important than shamelessly asking for small bills and loose change.
If you have any great ideas, or remember some heart-rendering, thought-provoking, quirky, or just plain silly signs you might have seen, please share them with us. I have plenty more, but I need to end this post before it becomes a TLDR candidate.
JD Price
5/26/24
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