| This week has been one for the books. It started with an incredible high as one subscriber affected a game-changing event in a young woman’s life. Then, a longer-term hopeful regressed back into the tunnel after months of renting. Some hard decisions needed to be made. It’s heartbreaking to see the consequences of poor decisions after so much progress had been made. In the storytelling world, we call this paragraph “foreshadowing.” There was Christmas, of course, which is great for many, and awful for others–particularly those who are away from loved ones. The phone was ringing–a good sign that people are holding onto those business cards. Appointments are aplenty, so that’s good news. This is the End-of-the-Tunnel project’s first Christmas season, so it was impossible to know what to expect. As you know, expectations are the enemy. Many calls were just to talk. Hopefully, some took the advice. Mostly, people have a vision of what “help” will look like when they call the number on the card, and it’s likely a ride to a shelter, a hot meal, a warm bed, then rehab—which they can skip out on the next morning. When the call doesn’t go that way, it often ends with a better understanding of what “ready to get out” means, or I’ll make a trip to a meeting place where no one is waiting. Yes, friends, that can be disappointing, frustrating, heartbreaking. Separating the tunnel from personal life is usually pretty easy. The people with whom I associate in the tunnel are still people. Their situations and conversations are private, so they’re never spoken of outside of the organization. Being human, separating the emotions, however, can be difficult. Pay attention, now—this is where the foreshadowing comes in.I received a call from a woman in a park who knew I’d worked with a young man in the past. I’d met him in a park, using a drinking fountain to bathe. I took him for a meal, bought him a toothbrush and socks. He took the ASVAB but still had residuals in his system, so he was to try again, obviously staying clean in the meantime. He hoped to make his family proud and reconnect with his ex to become a part of his daughter’s life again one day. The woman called me to report he’d been found “unresponsive” and later confirmed dead.That hit like a ton of bricks. I didn’t take it well. I reacted poorly, to say the least. I’m ashamed to admit it, but feel obligated to share, I made some poor decisions as well, and owe some people a heartfelt apology. The worst of it is bittersweet—I received a call from the woman again (Saturday) saying she’d spoken with the young man in person earlier, and she was quite convinced he was still alive. Relief flooded me, as you might imagine, but it was short-lived. I felt ashamed because I had been so damned mad at him! Then, I was ashamed of my fatalistic attitude. People had called for help but I had been in no mood to deal with the frustration. |
 |
| My words were reckless, hurtful. Then, for a moment, I was ashamed that I’d celebrated that it was someone else who’d died—someone else’s friend. He was somebody’s son, dammit, and I was glad he was dead—instead of my guy. I felt hollow. I needed to know who he was and apologize to his… spirit, I guess. Today’s obituary has nothing regarding anyone who might remotely resemble this young man, so it’s very possible that the entire event was just a fast-traveling rumor amongst a population of people hungry for any sense of importance. This, my friends, is how I failed in Stoicism’s teachings. I reacted to my own perception of things and lost sight of the fact that people, myself included, often badly misperceive or purposefully misinterpret what is right in front of them. That, to be blunt, really sucks. I can’t take it back—can’t make it go away—can’t pretend it didn’t happen. It was an emotional week, and though others will surely forget, I know my boundless capacity for regret will have me paying the price, internally, for a long, long time. The well-wishes and accolades I’ve received from you and others this season are inspiring, and I’m grateful for them, but after failing to deserve or live up to them these past few days, they cut like knives. You, dear readers, don’t subscribe to The Tunnel for the witty newsletter, I know; you subscribe because you want to contribute to the cause, and subscribing is simply how to do so. The project is what’s important. The people are the reason you give your hard-earned money, and you need to know that this project is secure, which is why I’m being honest about my knee-jerk reaction to the devastating news which was, this time, false, thank God. I don’t have to share this with you, but I choose to—because it’s important to me to be true to you—all of you, without whom, this project goes nowhere. My lesson is learned, that I need to accept tragedy along with triumph, and never let either of them possess too much of me. Let’s move on, shall we? The Biden-Harris administration recently released a statement along with a very thorough listing and report, which reassured us that, “since day one,” the administration has worked to address the nation’s homelessness issue, awarding hundreds of millions of dollars to institutions and organizations that have seen a mere 18% increase in homelessness since 2023, after the surging increase in Fentanyl coming into the country across our “closed” borders dropped the price of the drug from $10/pill to around .75 cents/pill. Estimates of 74,000 to 82,000 people die per year from Fentanyl overdose. Fentanyl and meth, from my observation, are the most prevalent drugs used among homeless populations where really bad, emotionally-driven decisions are made on an hourly basis, and a five-dollar handout can keep people from feeling the full weight of their circumstances for almost a week. Will the repercussions of our border/drug crisis continue for months, years, decades? Only time will tell. My efforts, from now on, will include pushing state and local governments to provide detox and rehab facilities to those who find themselves too broke to continue their habits when prices go back to $10 or more, God willing. Perhaps “rock bottom” will come sooner rather than later, and we’ll start to see a decrease nationwide. Find the report here. Please, make this and future newsletters available to your friends and family so they can better understand the nuances of life in the tunnel and how their hard-earned money is spent when given to organizations that help people in need of medical, dental, psychological, and legal aid, shelter, employment, transportation, and human dignity, versus when their money is given directly to people in need of getting high. Remember to consider also giving locally to our recommended friends at Gospel Rescue Mission, Youth on their Own, Teen Challenge, and I AM YOU 360, and to the Tunnel to Towers Foundation, which again is not affiliated with The Tunnel newsletter in any way. Please research these amazing foundations and consider contributing to them as well if you can, and let’s have a fantastic and blessed 2025! |